Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez died in a car accident in Honduras yesterday. According to reports, there were 6 other people in the vehicle with her at the time of the accident. No one was injured and no one else died...except for Left Eye.
Does this seem a bit strange or is it just me?
The last thing I heard was that Left Eye had signed up with Death Row Records (Shug Knight's empire). Just last week, a record exec from Death Row was fatally shot and killed.
I hadn't been to my kickboxing class since Monday, and all last week I was slack and didn't go. That class is so hard that I sometimes wish he would cancel it more often. But yesterday, I dragged my ass to class. It's a good sized class, with about 25 females. This ain't no aerobics class...Master Partridge kicks our ass every class. We put on gloves and we punch, we duck, we kick...and this goes on for an hour. He never spares us, even if we start class late, he gives us a full hour!
Now this is also the type of class where you need some good workout clothes. You can't come strolling in there with some shorts and a t-shirt on. No honey, you need a double strength jog bra, and a good pair of shorts or pants that are going to cover your goods when you do those side kicks. Now everybody comes in there with various kinds of workout clothes...bike shorts, yoga pants, stretch pants, tank tops, t-shirts, you get the idea. But there is this one girl in there, let's call her the "bumble bee", that dresses like she is going to the club.
She wears coochie cutters.
This girl wears these bright ass yellow lycra shorts that are so tight and so see through that you can see the crack of her ass AND her coochie. It looks like she wrapped two yellow balloons around her ass. No joke. NOT THAT I'M LOOKING, but the shit is out there in your face and you can't help but notice it. I'm not hating, I just think it's disgusting.
But that's not all, she also wears this black lycra zip-up top with nothing under it. Her shit was bouncing up and down so much from the lack of support that she had to start holding them as she was working out. I know her shit had to hurt, and if she keeps working out with no bra, her goods will be sagging down to the floor by the time she's 30 years old! I'M DEFINITLY NOT HATING ON THAT, because she can go for the saggy boobs.
I'm feeling terribly sick today. Perhaps it's this weird ass weather...first it's hot, then it's cold, then it's hot, now it's going to rain. The other day, I walked into an inferno at my apartment. The air was on all day while I was at work, but it was blowing out what seemed like steam, not frosty cold air like it should've been. After stipping down to my bare ass because I couldn't breathe, I called emergeny maintanence. The maintanence guy showed up, filled the unit with some stuff called "Freeon" (?), told me to wait two hours to use the air, but said they would replace the air conditioning unit if it kept acting up. Who the hell cares...I'm moving into a house on Saturday. Do what the hell you want. In the meantime, I guess I'll just be chilling buck naked until the damn apartment cools down. Thanks for your help.
And because of all of that...I'm feeling terribly sick today.
A tad bit ill.
My head hurts and I can't think straight.
I'm sleepy.
My throat feels like sandpaper.
But do you really care? My life is pretty boring right now, so this is as good as it gets this week.
I'll never understand why it's so damn hard for the Barista at Starbucks make a Frappuchino and not have it oozing out the top of the lid (they did it again today-and I wish they'd stop putting the damn straw in the cup for me)!
I'll never understand why guys will call you out of the blue after you haven't talked to them in weeks and act like nothing is wrong, like "Hey what's up? Wanna go out to a movie?" Muthafucker, you haven't called me in a damn month! What makes you think that I am going to take you up on your offer after you dropped me like a dime.
I'll never understand what is the decision factor in getting your friends to go on a vacation. You ask them to go on a cruise, they get all pumped up and pull out. You ask them to go to New Orleans, they get all pumped up and pull out. Then you ask them to go on another excursion only to find out that they've made plans to go on a trip, and didn't ask you. Or maybe they didn't want to ask me. Or maybe they just don't feel comfortable going on a trip with me. Or maybe they just don't fucking like me. I'll never understand...it feels like fucking High School all over again.
In other news, I heard on The Today Show that the kid who crashed his plane into a Florida office building was on Accutane and the mother is suing the pharmaceutical company who manufactures the drug. They are saying that Accutane causes depression and sudden suicide tendencies. Hey Kim? Did you see that on the news? Lucky for you it didn't affect me that way, right?
What a brilliant idea! Create a fancy rechargeable credit card for Starbucks groupies to use to purchase their drug every morning. Wow...I got one. Now I go there almost every morning and don't even have to dig for change.
This morning I had a taste for something cold (since the humidity decided to pay us a visit at 8 o'clock in the morning...and it had already started to get a bit sticky outside). Mmmmm, a Coffee Frappuchino sounds good. So after telling a preppy newbie, "Excuse me, the line goes that way...I was ahead of you, " I order my drink, my card gets swiped, and I step to the side, waiting for the Barista to brew my drug.
But when she's done, she scoots over this sloppy, messy mass of ice and coffee. I suddenly feel like I am at Dairy Queen or Burger King...you know, when they make you a shake and don't give a damn if the shit is coming out the sides of the lid, dripping down your fingers, so they double cup it and wrap it with napkins and call it a day? Well, Miss Barista pulled the same country trick.
"Uh, I made yewr Frap-uh-chino, but it's mighty full and it's coming out the top of the lid." She slides it to me, leaving a goopy trail of coffee on the counter. And she expects me to pick that shit up and take it with me to work?
My mind is thinking: Bitch, put it in another cup! This is Starbucks, not some drive-thru Dairy Queen window. But instead I say-
"Um...can you put that in another cup? That's a bit messy don't you think?"
"Well, I could wipe the sides of for you, " and she pushes the cup closer to me, making the mess on the counter even stickier and more unsitely. Just the thought of having to get napkins to wrap around the cup is so, unstarbuckish.
"Yeah, ok...why don't you just pour it into a bigger cup, ok? Thanks."
She takes the cup back and pours it back into the Frappuchino blender, then pours it back into a bigger cup.
I always see this short, stringy haired white woman standing in the median by a stop light near my job. She looks like she is about 16 years old, but she looks well groomed and very clean, and never has on the same clothes as she did the day before. She has this cardboard sign that she's mocked up with a big fat black marker that says, "Hungry and Homeless". Everytime I drive by her I see people handing out money to her.
Let's do the math...
3 cars per red light 1 dollar per car 24 red lights per hour 4 hours per day She's making about $288 a day!
Does she have to file a 1040? Seriously, can she deduct the marker and cardboard sign as a business expense?
Drug dealers have to file taxes and in the state of Indiana...
